Words to the Wise

by Doreen Stern, Ph.D.

This week’s headline in my local newspaper, The Hartford Courant, screamed at me: “It’s High Anxiety Time for Voters.”

Victoria St. Gelais is panicky, reports Heather Lalley.  So is Tami Brewster-Barnes: She feels the nerves in the pit of her stomach. And Steven Valentine is losing sleep as his mood rises and falls with poll numbers.

Further, Illinois psychologist Nancy Molitor says this is the most anxious she’s seen her patients in 20 years of practice.

What’s going on? Many Americans have strong feelings that one of the presidential candidates will do a far better job than the other in charting a steady course for our country. If the other candidate prevails, some feel afraid of what the future holds.

Why is fear debilitating? When you feel afraid, access to the frontal lobes of your brain, where all creative, rational thought occurs, is restricted. You know how your computer freezes up when it receives too many commands? The same thing happens to your brain’s executive control system: it freezes when you feel fearful. Remember these familiar symptoms: pounding head, thumping heart, dry mouth, and tension in your muscles? Feeling fried?

How can you prevent brain overload? Positive emotions are the best antidote against brain overload. And if you already feel overwhelmed, positive emotions can make your brain hum again, points out psychiatrist and well-known author Dr. Edward Hallowell (Driven to Distraction).

Hallowell coined the term “attention deficit trait” to describe the panicky feeling people often experience from brain overload. ADT’s core symptoms are distractibility, inner frenzy and impatience. People who suffer from ADT frequently underperform — create clutter – and make careless mistakes.

How can you promote positive emotions, so you come out ahead no matter what happens on Election Day?

• Start with yourself: Smile at yourself in the mirror in the morning. Look into your eyes and tell yourself that you are safe – today and always. Remind yourself of your past accomplishments. Of obstacles you’ve overcome. Tell yourself that you’ll handle any future ones in the same way.

• Deepen your connections with people. Smile at the people in your family, at work, and on the street. Make time to visit with friends. And take time to listen. To hear both what people are saying and how they’re feeling. Pause after they stop talking, so their words sink in. Then mirror their feelings back to them, e.g., “Sounds like you’re feeling frustrated . . . pleased . . . or proud.” Touch their arm before you walk away. Remember, attention is the highest form of love.

• Exercise for 17 minutes. (Yes, the new government guidelines recommend 30 minutes 5 times a week.) Start small, though. And make it a habit. Physical exercise induces your body to produce a variety of important chemicals that make you feel good. Your positive emotions will skyrocket.

• Every day, address one of YOUR priorities before you log onto email. You’ll feel more efficacious. More powerful and more in control of your life.

• Finally, set aside 17 minutes to eliminate some of your paper clutter. Doing so will make you feel proud of yourself. Pick up each piece of paper and ask yourself these questions:

What is this?

What does it mean to me?

Do I want to save it, or discard it?

If I save it, how will I label it, so I can retrieve it, when I want it?

If I discard it, will I shred it, recycle it, give it to someone, or just toss it?

Become your best possible self. Today and every day.

* Doreen Stern, Ph.D. is a coach, motivational speaker and writer. Her book, “Change Your Life in 17 Minutes! Create the Future You Desire,” will be available early in 2009.

Each of us has been late. Sometimes, there’s simply nothing we can do about it. An accident has you stranded in traffic for hours. A flight gets perpetually delayed because of weather.

But, what about those times when the only one you have to blame for your tardiness is you? When you’re late, and you KNOW it’s your fault, how do you feel? Pit in your stomach? Painful guilt? Need I go on?

Being late to a meeting is one thing, but think about the dimension these feelings take on when you’re late to something you can never “catch up” on - like a funeral, a wedding, birthday party and the like. Feelings that come after being late to these events can last a lifetime.

Now, picture your life if you were perpetually early.

According to motivational speaker Doreen Stern*, AKA the Desk Docktor, “When you decide to be early, you no longer think you can fit in just one more thing. You know you can’t. So you use your time more wisely.”

Here’s a challenge from Doreen: “Tomorrow, decide to be early. Allot enough time so that everywhere you go, you plan to arrive ten mimutes early.

Go to bed a half hour earlier than you usually do.

Whenever you get someplace early or accomplish something ahead of schedule, tell yourself you’re doing a spectacular job. Stand up straight and preen. Doing so will motivate you to repeat the same feat tomorrow.”

*Doreen Stern is a dynamic speaker, a writer and an organizational coach. As the Desk Docktor, she reveals “The Secret to Turning Your Paper Mess into Success, in 20 Minutes or Less.” Stern has been profiled by the Hartford Courant and the Journal Inquirer. She has been interviewed on Public Access TV and This Hour Has 22 Widgets. Doreen is also a client of Freelance Marketing/PR/Advertising Copywriter Jason Pedley.